If they just weren't real, but then you can't make this stuff up: The Possum Logs

There's some really good stories out there. My problem is that they come from good friends and i don't necessarily need to publicize their accounts--just yet. So let me briefly just toss some "nuggets" of my own out there so as to not embarrASS anyone but myself --Ass being the operative word here. 

I'm a city girl and as a result have little exposure to wild life. So the Christmas Eve of probably 1996 when my Maltese and Schnauzers were going crazy at something under our outside ground floor deck, you can imagine my surprise when I took a flashlight and looked between the boards to see some grayish/pink eyes staring back at me. A further inspection revealed a hairless, nasty looking worm of a tail. I called neighbors for help-- not a good night for animal rescue--but one neighbor did give me a helpful tip: put it in a roasting pan with some sweet potatoes and that would be some good eating'........Passed.

So the years went by.......Probably about 10 years later, time, water and dirt had started messing with the entrances and exits to the area that multiple generations of Possums had  called the ground under our deck their home.  There was a time when Eric Robert Rudolph was still loose and was reportedly delivering pizzas in our neighborhood and our dogs were going crazy again. (Oh sure, if you were ERR, wouldn't you hide out in Hoover AL as a pizza delivery boy, altho I bet the tips are pretty good.) We are one of those rare Americans that don't carry fire-arms. We have ADT, baseball bats and  I have fingernails. If you get close enough, I can take away your eyesight, and with my baseball bat.....well,  you will be crawling or crying. Or Both.  Our dogs are small but your should see what they do to a squirrel...... So I go outside to see my Maltese having an altercation with several baby possums. Way too early for camera phones, but the vision is still vivid of several baby possums on their hind legs, hissing and spitting at Maxx. Now, keep in mind,, they are both small and white and furry.  So I was witnessing a real meeting of God's creatures, looking at each and in their own language screaming "what in the hell ARE you?  and "why are you spitting/barking/ hissing ?"  At any rate, I yelled for Maxx to come inside just in case Eric Robert Rudolph really WAS outside with a pizza and he quickly accommodated my request. And i would say that he smelled quite, um, "Gamey" when he got inside.

Then a few years later, Bill and I decided that the possums were gone and we plugged up the exits. The next morning, I'm looking out onto our back yard and saw the biggest, pinkest possum.....I have nothing to compare it to size wise because I do not know my wild life dimensions, but let me say, this was a Bigass Possum. 

A Bigass HAIRLESS Possum. Apparently the Matriarch of the family that had, over time, scraped most of her hair off the major parts of her body as she slid in and out from our ground level deck. But based on her traffic and productivity, she may have lost her looks over the years, but gotta hand it to her, she had maintained her "popularity." 

I won't go into all the details, but I will say that I called the safety patrol which just happened to be available as it was the same morning after prom night and they arrived swiftly, in their black boxer shorts, cowboy boots and assorted head gear. Yep, that was all they were wearing, but let me just say they were spot on..... and Mamma Mia got another chance to grow her hair back.

Next up: Quasimodo, the Squirrel......